Geeky girl - The Loneliest Particle at the Party

Elementary particles are the building blocks of our universe, each with its own unique quirks. Quarks, for example, come in six different "flavors," and photons are the speedy, massless carriers of light. There are fermions that follow the Pauli Exclusion Principle, meaning they can never occupy the same quantum state, while bosons can happily pile up together like it's a cosmic cuddle pile. These subatomic players, with their peculiar properties and roles, form the fundamentals of physics. And honestly, they make way more sense to me, Zoe, than the people at this party, who all seem to think that talking about their Instagram follower count is peak conversation.

The room was packed, but it felt like I was at a gathering of people who only cared about their selfies and who had never heard of anything remotely interesting. Standing in the corner, I sipped my soda and tried not to roll my eyes too visibly at the utter lack of depth. I was basically the forgotten mascara in a makeup bag — essential but ignored. Or maybe I was just the glitter nail polish — just here for the sparkle, but really not interested in sticking around for long.

Some guy in a backwards cap was going on about his YouTube channel — one that was definitely going to "blow up soon" — and I found myself mentally drifting into the comfort of particle physics. "Why can't people be more like elementary particles?" I thought. Sure, particles are weird, but at least they’re predictably weird, unlike these guys who are just, well, predictably boring. I started making comparisons just to keep myself entertained:

• Quarks come in six types (flavors), unlike the people here who seem to come in just two: dull and full of themselves.
• Just like a photon, I could escape this party at the speed of light. But then I realized that even if I left, I’d still have to face the vacuum of boredom out there. No winning, really.
• I thought, "Neutrinos pass through everything without being noticed — just like I wish I could do at this party, especially when someone starts explaining NFTs to me for the third time."

While pretending to care about someone's TikTok hustle — something about "going viral any day now" — I mused, “If only more people got how cool the strong force is — you know, the thing that holds atomic nuclei together. It's one of the strongest forces in the universe! Meanwhile, these people can barely hold together their weak attempts at small talk, going on about networking like it's some kind of sacred art. Spoiler alert: it’s really, really not.”

I glanced around, looking for an escape route. If only I could find someone who understood the Pauli Exclusion Principle: two identical fermions (like electrons) can’t occupy the same quantum state. "At least quantum mechanics respects personal space," I muttered. "Here? It’s like everyone thinks crowding is a compliment."

My dad, by the way, would have loved this party. Not because he likes parties — oh no, he's way too much of a physics nerd for that. But he has this uncanny ability to make any situation funny by bringing up some obscure scientific fact. He’d probably walk in, look around at all these people pretending to be interesting, and start cracking jokes about quantum entanglement and how these social bonds were weaker than the gravitational pull between two hydrogen atoms. He always says, 'Zoe, if you're going to be in a boring place, you might as well make it a physics experiment.' Honestly, I could use some of his humor right now.

A girl nearby cracked a joke about some influencer's boyfriend drama, and I rolled my eyes so hard they almost left orbit. "Honestly," I thought, "if these people were accessories, they’d all be those tangled necklaces at the bottom of a jewelry box: impossible to deal with, but somehow still there. Or maybe they’re like those knock-off designer bags — everyone says they're worth it, but I have yet to see any actual proof."

At that point, I decided it was time to cut my losses and sneak out. But as I made my way to the door, I found myself smiling. Yeah, I was lonely here, but I'd rather be an electron — happily orbiting at a distance, not smashing into anyone else's nucleus of dullness. Besides, avoiding unwanted collisions was pretty much my superpower.

Even the most complex particles work best when they're in balance, just like I do when I’m around people who actually understand the quirky charm of quantum mechanics. Maybe next time I’d find that group — the one that gets just as excited about muons as I do, and doesn't think a strange quark is just some dude with bad pickup lines.

Random Fact: Did you know that if you took all the empty space out of the atoms making up every human on Earth, the entire human race would fit into the volume of a sugar cube? Honestly, if we could condense this party into something the size of a Tic Tac, it might finally have enough excitement to keep me awake — or at least be small enough to swallow and get it over with.